Everyone has been in that situation, you are cruising down the road, singing to your favorite song, and then you see it. The cop car. Then you see it in your review mirror with its lights on. Yep. Surely at one point in your life you have gotten some kind of traffic ticket, whether it’s a parking ticket, speeding ticket, or something else. However, as common as those are, there are some strange driving laws out there that if you get a ticket for, well, let’s just say no one will feel sorry for you.
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For those of you in California, or even driving through it, watch out for these few laws because I don’t know what to tell you if you get caught. If no one is driving your vehicle, it cannot go above 60 mph, 50 may be pushing it though. So, tell that ghost to get out of the car and let you drive next time you’re in California. However, ladies do not drive your car while wearing a housecoat, since apparently fashion can be a crime.
I know this is a problem I have encountered several times. In New Jersey, it is illegal to plant trees in the middle of the street. Seriously, it is about time this law has come into play. I hate it when I’m driving and there is a tree in the middle of the road. So, that one may not be a driving lay, but it has to do with roads so why not.
For some people, driving on a sidewalk is the way to go. However, in Oregon, you must yield to pedestrians when you are driving on the sidewalk. Personally, I would think that is a given, but apparently not. Now, in Dunn, North Carolina, it is illegal to drive on a sidewalk period. You also can’t drive through cemeteries in Dunn. Oh, and in Dublin, Georgia, you cannot drive through playgrounds.
People who like to change clothes in their car may need to pay attention to these laws. In Sag Harbor, New York, you cannot disrobe in your car. That is a total bummer. I think the people who are living in their cars will have to figure out somewhere else to change. If you are in Evanston, Illinois though, you can change in your car; you just can’t block the cop’s view of you changing. Yep, that’s right. You can’t change clothes in the car with the curtains draw, unless there is a fire. Because I know during a fire, all I want to do is change my clothes in my car with the curtains drawn.
If you are planning on visiting Youngstown, Ohio, hope you filled up before hand. It is against the law to run out of gas while in Youngstown. Hope Youngstown isn’t too big of a city. Perhaps you don’t want to worry about running out of gas in Youngstown and have never had to put your car in reverse; then Glendale, Arizona is the town for you. It is unlawful for a car to back up in Glendale. However, strange those two are, nothing can beat the law in Crete, Illinois which says that you can’t drive a car through town. That one may take a little bit to figure out.
When it comes to getting pulled over, it really doesn’t matter what kind of traffic ticket you get, it’s never fun. Many people think if they get a parking ticket it will affect their insurance, but that’s not the case. If you don’t pay your tickets off when you are supposed to, that can count against you and raise your rates. You may want to check with your insurance company if you get a ticket for any of the above laws though.
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Leigha Fenster: Car Insurance Quote Types of Auto Insurance Article Source: http://www.upublish.info by Leigha Fenster
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Sunday, September 22, 2019
Thursday, June 20, 2019
Depressed Rabbit Attempts Suicide
A male rabbit named Furball had lost all hope. The female rabbit he had lived with for an entire year had left him for another rabbit. The owner of the garden he usually dined at had just put a fence around it. A fox had nipped one of his ears. And, at his most depressed, it seemed to him that all life is mere ephemera in the eye of time.
The only thing to do was bring an end to his sorrow, hunger, pain, and inability to find meaning even in a moment. He would take his own life. The question became, how?
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The first thing he did is look for a cliff to jump off of, but, alas, he lived on farmland that was pretty flat. He did find one high rock beside the pond the cows waded into each day. Up he scampered.
The challenge was to jump and hit the ground, not the pond. He resolved to end his troubled existence and off he leaped. But when he hit the ground, unfortunately, he landed on his feet. He just stood there, regretting the rock wasn’t higher.
Next, he decided to back up and run at the rock as fast as he could, head first. He hopped back far enough to give himself a good running distance and then headed for the hard immensity. He banged into at full speed and knew nothing else, because the force knocked him out.
As luck would have it, after a while, he woke up, with a thundering headache. He rubbed his aching head with his paw and decided to drown himself. He leapt toward the pond and did a belly smacker. He waited to drown. The terrible thing is, he couldn’t stop swimming. Much as he tried, there was a reflex in him that he couldn’t control. So, filled with regret, along with water that had splashed into his mouth, he paddled out and sat down by the bank to dry off.
He thought about human beings and how many ways they had to commit suicide. Why didn’t rabbits have even one? In fact, why didn’t he ever hear of a rabbit, or any other animal, committing suicide?
No, it seemed that only humans knew how to do that. What was wrong with other animals? he wondered. He signed, realizing there were just no examples in the rabbit world or the entire animal kingdom he could follow.
He felt more miserable than ever and his vision blurred, because tears welled up in his eyes. He tried to wipe them away but his paw was still wet, so the clumpy fur only irritated them and made him blink. Oh, how hopeless his life was! He could see no reason to go on. Nothing good, he was certain, would ever happen to him.
But just then something good did happen. An exceptionally cute female rabbit hopped around the corner of the rock. He saw her and just the site of her made his sullen spirits leap up.
She hopped over to him, and said, “You look very sad. What’s wrong?”
“I want to kill myself but I don’t know how,” he confessed.
“Now, why would a handsome rabbit like you want to kill himself?” she asked.
“Because nothing is going right. My girl friend left me. My favorite garden has been fenced off. A fox bit my ear. And I feel insignificant.”
He leaned forward to show her the bite mark.
“My, oh, my,” she said. “Let me lick it.”
“You’d do that for me?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said. “If a fox bit my ear, I’d want somebody to lick it for me.”
“OK,” he said, “but take it easy. It hurts a lot.”
So the female rabbit licked his ear. He felt good.
“What’s your name?” she asked.
“Furball.”
“I like that,” she said. “Very cute.”
“What’s yours?” he asked.
“Sweet Thing.”
“Me?” he wanted to know.
“Yes, you’re very sweet,” she told him. “But that’s also my name.”
“Oh,” he said, and tested it with is own lips. “Sweet Thing. I like that.
“Good,” she said. “And I like the way you taste.”
“You do?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Great,” he exclaimed, and continued to enjoy her soothing licks. He couldn’t believe it, but what felt like a new life was swirling all through is body.
“How’s that?” she asked, finishing her TLC of his ear.
“Much better,” he told her.
“You know,” she said, sitting down beside him, “I live by a great garden. There’s no fence, and you’re welcome to come there and eat.”
“I am?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Don’t you have a male rabbit who loves you?”
“No,” she said, “he left me for another rabbit.”
“I’m sorry,” Furball said.
“Don’t worry,” I’ll get over it,” Sweet Thing sort of sighed. “But I wish I could meet another male rabbit, one I really like.”
By now our suicidal rabbit was thinking, Hey, who would have believed it just a few minutes ago? My life just might work out! And, even if life is just ephemera in the eye of time, I might be able to fit in enough happiness to be glad I'm alive.
“How about me?” he asked.
“Well, I like you a lot, but I’m not sure I could be happy with a rabbit who is so depressed he would take his own life.”
“Oh, I’m all over that now,” he told her. “And, if you were my girl friend, I’d be all over it forever.” “You would?”
“Yes,” he said, and snuggled up to her. "I'd have so much to live for!"
“Wow,” she said, “and so would I. Would you like to come to my garden and eat something?”
“Love it,” he told her.
“Great. Then off we go!” she replied.
And so off they hopped, to live happily ever after.
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About the Author: Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs. Source: www.isnare.com
The only thing to do was bring an end to his sorrow, hunger, pain, and inability to find meaning even in a moment. He would take his own life. The question became, how?
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The first thing he did is look for a cliff to jump off of, but, alas, he lived on farmland that was pretty flat. He did find one high rock beside the pond the cows waded into each day. Up he scampered.
The challenge was to jump and hit the ground, not the pond. He resolved to end his troubled existence and off he leaped. But when he hit the ground, unfortunately, he landed on his feet. He just stood there, regretting the rock wasn’t higher.
Next, he decided to back up and run at the rock as fast as he could, head first. He hopped back far enough to give himself a good running distance and then headed for the hard immensity. He banged into at full speed and knew nothing else, because the force knocked him out.
As luck would have it, after a while, he woke up, with a thundering headache. He rubbed his aching head with his paw and decided to drown himself. He leapt toward the pond and did a belly smacker. He waited to drown. The terrible thing is, he couldn’t stop swimming. Much as he tried, there was a reflex in him that he couldn’t control. So, filled with regret, along with water that had splashed into his mouth, he paddled out and sat down by the bank to dry off.
He thought about human beings and how many ways they had to commit suicide. Why didn’t rabbits have even one? In fact, why didn’t he ever hear of a rabbit, or any other animal, committing suicide?
No, it seemed that only humans knew how to do that. What was wrong with other animals? he wondered. He signed, realizing there were just no examples in the rabbit world or the entire animal kingdom he could follow.
He felt more miserable than ever and his vision blurred, because tears welled up in his eyes. He tried to wipe them away but his paw was still wet, so the clumpy fur only irritated them and made him blink. Oh, how hopeless his life was! He could see no reason to go on. Nothing good, he was certain, would ever happen to him.
But just then something good did happen. An exceptionally cute female rabbit hopped around the corner of the rock. He saw her and just the site of her made his sullen spirits leap up.
She hopped over to him, and said, “You look very sad. What’s wrong?”
“I want to kill myself but I don’t know how,” he confessed.
“Now, why would a handsome rabbit like you want to kill himself?” she asked.
“Because nothing is going right. My girl friend left me. My favorite garden has been fenced off. A fox bit my ear. And I feel insignificant.”
He leaned forward to show her the bite mark.
“My, oh, my,” she said. “Let me lick it.”
“You’d do that for me?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said. “If a fox bit my ear, I’d want somebody to lick it for me.”
“OK,” he said, “but take it easy. It hurts a lot.”
So the female rabbit licked his ear. He felt good.
“What’s your name?” she asked.
“Furball.”
“I like that,” she said. “Very cute.”
“What’s yours?” he asked.
“Sweet Thing.”
“Me?” he wanted to know.
“Yes, you’re very sweet,” she told him. “But that’s also my name.”
“Oh,” he said, and tested it with is own lips. “Sweet Thing. I like that.
“Good,” she said. “And I like the way you taste.”
“You do?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Great,” he exclaimed, and continued to enjoy her soothing licks. He couldn’t believe it, but what felt like a new life was swirling all through is body.
“How’s that?” she asked, finishing her TLC of his ear.
“Much better,” he told her.
“You know,” she said, sitting down beside him, “I live by a great garden. There’s no fence, and you’re welcome to come there and eat.”
“I am?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Don’t you have a male rabbit who loves you?”
“No,” she said, “he left me for another rabbit.”
“I’m sorry,” Furball said.
“Don’t worry,” I’ll get over it,” Sweet Thing sort of sighed. “But I wish I could meet another male rabbit, one I really like.”
By now our suicidal rabbit was thinking, Hey, who would have believed it just a few minutes ago? My life just might work out! And, even if life is just ephemera in the eye of time, I might be able to fit in enough happiness to be glad I'm alive.
“How about me?” he asked.
“Well, I like you a lot, but I’m not sure I could be happy with a rabbit who is so depressed he would take his own life.”
“Oh, I’m all over that now,” he told her. “And, if you were my girl friend, I’d be all over it forever.” “You would?”
“Yes,” he said, and snuggled up to her. "I'd have so much to live for!"
“Wow,” she said, “and so would I. Would you like to come to my garden and eat something?”
“Love it,” he told her.
“Great. Then off we go!” she replied.
And so off they hopped, to live happily ever after.
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For Fun - Click Here
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About the Author: Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs. Source: www.isnare.com
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